Creative Meditation #4: On Seeing the Soundless Voice

The Creative Meditation is a new project that has grown out of last year’s “Something Beautiful” initiative. It may happen every day or when the spirit moves me.

On Seeing the Soundless Voice  

(Thoughts on the battle, as an artist, to connect with inspiration. Thoughts suggested  on completing the drawing below.)

Within an arm’s reach

Or held safe apart

The soundless voice is agony and ecstasy

—And elusive on any given Tuesday.

I plan to meet her

I prepare and mentally groom

But she is not to be bound by convention

Or commanded by desire.

Trespassing into my mind

And harsh when it is vacant.

She is a restless partner.

Easily bored. Impatient with the opinionless.

Annoyed with uncertainty

She growls from within

“Pronounce. Define. At least, suggest.”

But I am mute and so she vanishes.

She is lurking. I know it. I feel it.

A sulking seed thought. A fatigued whimsy. A fleeting notion.

Beating wings on which hope and imagination cling

But faith fails me and I cannot see.

In my blindness, I beg her —

See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me.

But I hear her loudly: “Not my work.

Grow up. Use your first language. See your words.”

Rested, I am fluent. Then I look away—

And my words disappear

Beneath teachers, judgment, conformity, and fear

And so, I shovel often. Who keeps filling the hole?

Ah, it is my own dirty job hands

Mindless slaves of sensibility who quickly cover

The unfettered fantasies, the uncensored thoughts.

The digging is exhausting, but I have seen the treasure.

My job is not my calling. Dig on.

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About vbassoc

Donna Van Bogaert is a researcher and consultant in the field of cognitive styles, health communication, and organizational communication and behavior. Her business, Van Bogaert & Associates, Inc., specializes in cognitive-based coaching, management consulting, and leadership development. When the winds are blowing her way, she travels and talks about workplace potential and creative problem solving. In another life, Donna sings jazz. For a very long time, she fronted two 18-piece big bands —All That Jazz (Madison, WI) and The Gardenia Big Band (Rockford, IL). She currently resides in Cincinnati, Ohio where, in a third parallel universe, she leads a media branch of a national research institute. Mostly she has returned to painting, poetry, and plotting the next chapter of her life.
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